Friday, October 5, 2012

Weekly Game Guide: Northwestern GPS Edition

It's Friday night. The bands are playing. The teams are playing. The crowds are cheering. There's nothing like high school football!

Pitt's playing too, and the crowd in the Carrier Dome won't be cheering for them.  The panthers are a 3 point favorite.  And Friday night is their night.  The great thing about playing for Pitt is that you always get to watch football on Saturday!  GO ORANGE!

Penn State remains about a 3.5 point favorite at home over ranked Northwestern.

Just what is Northwestern northwestern of?  Seattle is northwestern.  For an academic institution, you would expect better directions.
Northwestern . . .of Cincinnati?
The people in purple apparently had a quaint tradition of dumping the goal posts into Lake Michigan following a win.  According to the Urban Dictionary:
Lake the Post
At Northwestern University, it refers to old tradition of dragging the field goal posts from the football field to Lake Michigan in order to dump them. This happened in the period of time when NU had one of the worst football teams in the nation, and laking the posts was done during the occasional victory or notable defeat.
Apparently "lake" can be used as a verb. I did not know that.  And why one would want to pollute a lake in this manner, one can only guess.  But Northwestern is known for their geniuses--they are the Michigan of Chicago, the Michicago--so the event must be something special.

I hope they have a notable defeat this Saturday.  It will be fun to see them drag those goalposts across the country to Lake Michigan.  They may have to settle for Lake Raystown, though.  Or they might just skip it altogether, and no one would notice.  GO STATE!  BEAT WILDCATS!

Ross Went to Northwestern.  Rachel went . . . elsewhere.

The Spartans are 14.5 point favorites at Indiana.  What the heck!  Let's root for the Hoosiers.  Sooner or later they are going to beat a Big Ten team, and I'd just as soon it not be us.  Michigan State's season has already descended into Greek purgatory.  GO HOOSIERS!

Denard Robinson takes on the Boilermakers at Purdue.  He's favored by 3.  No brainer here.  GO BOILERS!

The Badgers try to rebound from wearing ugly uniforms last week to play at Illinois.  Bucky is favored by 14.5.  We still don't like Beckman and his merry band of recruiters.  GO BADGERS!

Julia Louis-Dreyfus learned to dance
. . . at Northwestern!

The Big Bad Buckeyes are 5 point favorites over Nebraska in Columbus.  I'll have to give this some thou . .. GO HUSKERS!

MINNESOTA and IOWA are off.  Well, we all knew that.  But they're not playing football this weekend either.  Maybe practicing.  Didn't they play each other last week?  Now they are off.  Together.  This is more than a little suspicious.  I think they're fooling around.  Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Previous Opponents:

Ohio is a 16 point home favorite over Buffalo.  GO BOBCATS!

Navy is a 10 point dog to the Air Force.  GO NAVY!

I didn't see a line for Duke hosting Virginia.  GO CAVS!

South Florida is a 5 point favorite over the Temple Owls.  GO HOOTERS!

Jerry Springer went to Northwestern
. . .  and he's still smiling!
Around the Nation:

USC beat Utah last night, but the Utes scared them a bit, jumping out ot a 14 point lead.  The prophylactics won 38-28.  Did you know if you rearrange the letters S-I-L-A-S-R-E-D-D, it also spells Ass Riddle?  Or Reads Lids?  Sad Slider?  Dried Lass?  But I digress.

LSU is favored by 3 over Florida.  GO GATORS!

The Irish are 13 point favorites over Miami (FL).  The game is in Chicago.  Go figure.  GO CANES!

Oklahoma is a 4.5 point fave over Texas Tech.  GO RED RAIDERS!

Texas is a 6.5 point favorite over the Mountaineers.  I can't believe I'm typing this, but., GO WVU!

The pro team in Tuscaloosa is off this week.

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