Getting Ready for Some Football

Believe it or not, the first game of the season for Penn State is this Saturday . . . and the general college football season begins on Thursday.  Pitt leads off in its usual Thursday spot with a game against Utah.  The Utes have a 17 home game win streak going for them.  Pitt has . . .um, well, they're used to playing on Thursdays.  See, I can say something nice about them.

But as I prepared for the upcoming opener--hoisting the blue Penn State flag (blue for home, white for away), putting the Penn State Blue Band CD into the car's disc player (drivers look at me funny as I pound my fist in the air to P-S-U or remove my hat for the playing of the Alma Mater. . . . they look at me funny and give me strange gestures on other occasions, but I digress), and picking up the Citizen's Bank button ("Too Young For Old State")--I realized that my excitement level this year is not as high as it usually is.  I think its the lame button's fault.

Galen at LinebackerU likens the upcoming season to Christmas:

Did we get the proverbial Playstation 3 in the form of a Big Ten champ or did we get a team equivalent to a new set of tube socks?

I guess I'm fearing tube socks.  Worse yet, already worn and smelly tube socks.  Maybe underwear.  That doesn't fit.  And is already dirty.  You get the general idea.

Have I lowered my expectations?  Perhaps.  I just don't have a good feeling about this team yet--and I haven't even seen them play a down of regulation football yet.  Perhaps that is normal, but usually I could convince myself at this point that we are a mere 12 games away from playing in the BCS title game, and only the referees or bad weather could stand in our way.  The season is just a technicality.

So what do I want to see Saturday?

First and foremost-- a lopsided win.  No offense, YSU, but you suck and anything less will be a disappointment.   Oh look, I got ear muffs for Christmas!  Might come in handy in November, but we don't need those on this particular weekend.  Sagarin ranks PSU at #10 in the country. YSU is #150. Nuff said.

I want to see all three QBs look good.  Maybe one to look great.  I don't care who.  I don't care who starts.  I don't care if they are all listed as equal on the depth chart.  I want Alabama wondering which weapon will take the field on 9-11.  And gosh darn it, I want some weapons.  No BB guns.  Or fart dart guns.  I want to see cannons and laser guided missiles for crying out loud.  Shock and Awe--not shucks and Aww.

I know its the first game, but let's limit the stupid mistakes and turnovers.  Yeah, one school of thought is to get them over with--the law of averages argues that a team will have so many in a given year anyway.  May as well have them when the don't hurt you.  I've never been one to pay that much attention to the laws of physics or statistics.  Damn the torpedoes--full speed ahead.  Play a lights out game that leaves the Tide sleepless in Tuscaloosa.

I don't want to see any injuries.  Unless of course it's the stupid red hat guy who keeps calling TV timeouts.  I kind of hope he trips over his communication cable and is unable to stop play the entire game.  I'm not evil--I'm not asking for a permanent disability.  Just temporary enough to get this scrimmage over and get back to the tailgate.  Seriously, in this day and age of digital HDTV and technology, is it really necessary to stop play?  Why not just tape delay live play for the commercials, and edit out time in the huddle, etc. to catch up when there is no TO called by the teams?

I'd like to see Joe trot out on the field with the team.  I am so sick of all the doom and gloom.  It seems half the sportswriters in this country have already dug the man's grave.  Give 'em hell Joe!

Finally, good weather.  I'd hate to have to use the climate as an excuse for why we had  a bad outing against the Penguins.  Penguins play hockey.  Not football.

GO STATE!  BEAT PENGUINS!