Expansion Humor

The rumor mill continues to heat up re: Big Ten Expansion.  You can count on me to keep you on top of the latest humor news.  I don't ordinarily link THEM blogs, but sometimes you just got to put petty bygones in the past because it's just too damned funny.

Maize-N-Brew has posted a comical vignette where the Big XII teams are a bunch of high school girls sitting at the same table in the cafeteria.  Colorado is expecting a date with the the PAC-10.  Nebraska and Missouri stroll by flirting with the Big Ten Boys . . .

Colorado: What!? You're not excited?

Texas: Why should I be? I totally dated the PAC-10 a few years ago, but they're lahoosers. I could've gone steady with the PAC-10, or I could hang out with my girls. I totally chose you guys. /smiles fakest of all smiles/
Texas Tech: Don't give us that line of bullshit. They dumped your ass after they found out your were stuffing your revenues bra.

/Iowa State rolls up in motorized wheelchair, dressed in cheerleader uniform/


Iowa State: /voice box crackles/ WHAT'S THIS CRAP I HEAR ABOUT YOU BITCHES GOING OUT WITH THE PAC-10? WHY DO I HAVE TO HEAR THIS FROM TEDDY GREENSTEIN? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS. /static/

Colorado: Calm down Iowa State, we just found out about it. Sorry they didn't invite you to party.

Oklahoma State: You know you're not the only one with money Texas. My Uncle Pickens left me some money too. I can get my own car.


Texas: Ha! A lot of good it's done you to. Even with the new practice facility boob job the best you can do is the Holiday Bowl. Ever think that if you weren't hanging out with me you wouldn't even get invited there? You were popular for a minute, but when everyone found out the twins were plastic it all went away, didn't it.

Oklahoma State: I hate you. /fights back tears/

Oklahoma State: So what's up with Nebraska and Missouri hanging out with those Big Ten guys?


A&M: Oh my God, it's like Missouri can't get enough of them. All Missouri does is talk about how great the Big Ten is. All the Big Ten would have to do is say "Big Ten Network" "boo" and her legs would be in the air.

Texas Tech: Not like Nebraska's any different. Nebraska asked me what kind of thong is easiest to get out of. If the Big Ten asks, we'll never see those two again.

Texas: I don't like the Big Ten. A few years ago I thought we were friends but they totally blew me off. Now that my revenues boobs are big, they're all over me again.

And so on . . .