The Buckeye Monologues

It all started with this email:

Hey Toddy,
This is Richie your Buckeye buddy, little research got me an add. log on to your stuff at pennlive now & then & [this is a friendly letter] just out of curiousity wonder what makes you tick! We're both big time followers of our teams, the Nits & the Bucks. I log on to other big ten school sites get their take on opposing teams, things in general. Each case there is a rivaly[friendly] lotta chain yanking etc. but no where, no one spews the venom, constantly bad mouthing[big time] the other conf. teams in particular OSU,MICH,[them as you refer]IOWA, pretty much the top tier teams who pretty much beat the Nits on a regular basis. I could be wrong in my assesment of you, but don't think so. Some friends of mine from hometown Lewisburg came out last oct to "THE" game in which we lost. gotta confess, the Nits had a fine team dispite all the legal distractions expect same coming yr. anyway my Pa. people & many others who came were of the same opinion, [ I sat with Pa. people as my tix came from in there. all in agreement never have they been treated so good or any better at an away game. You read the papers & have read the very negative comments from visiting fans last couple yrs. Seems to me the excellent reputation PSU & Joe has enjoyed [pre-big ten entry] is being severely damaged lately by your unruly & downright nasty, foul mouth fans.

Lets be honest Todd, PSU has not exactly come into the conf & dominated like they thought they would. If not mistaken I think their win record slightly over 50 %. I truly would like to see them improve on that statistic. The Buckeyes or no one else can win'em all. Better for conf if different teams get a shot time to time.

Not to blow my horn, but I've always admired JP, had occasion to meet him and Rip Engle back in the day when I was fortunate enough to be placed on Susquehanna valley football all-conf squad.

To wrap it up I wonder if I will ever see the day 'you' sorta change your ways reg opposing Big Ten teams. Are you aware OSU will never send the band in there again? also most people I talk to say they will never visit "AHEM' happy valley.

Richie---Troy, oh

I replied (in private,but not on the blog):

Hey Richie:

The whole Big Ten bad-mouthing by PSU fans has a lot to do with how we have been treated as a team and as fans since joining the conference. Exhibit A is 1994 when a lot of our conference "brethern"--sportswriters in the midwest--voted Nebraska over PSU. What the bloody fucking hell?! Damn straight the buckeye journalists would rank THEM number one if they were undefeated and had beaten OSU. But Penn State? What about the good of the fucking conference back then???!!!! The conference can shove it up their asses.

JP--who you purport to respect has talked about the way certain conference officials laugh behind his back. It was his infuriation over the fucking BIG TEN REFS WHO THROW THE GAMES FOR OSU AND THEM that got national instant replay. Yeah, that ball hit the turf in Beaver Stadium and the refs called it a catch. That'll never happen in Ann Arbor or Columbus in Penn State's favor. Perish the thought!

I and many PSU fans grew up with Pitt as a rival. We rooted against them. Our favorite teams were Penn State and whoever was playing Pitt. The last thing we wanted was an undefeated Pitt team. Good Lord, if they won a championship it's all we'd ever hear for the next 50 years. We--PSU fans--don't get this root for your enemy until you play them philosophy. You can't hate a team for one game. And if you really do think that way, then why the fucking hell didn't Penn State get more votes in 1994??????!!!!

OSU band? So what. They're over-rated anyway. And maybe if they had been smarter, they wouldn't have marched through the parking lots and throngs of students. Pull your damn bus up to the stadium and get out like the team does and every other visiting band. Arrogant sissy sons of bitches prancing through the tailgates like they owned the goddamned place.

I personally don't like having opposing fans in the stadium. We can sell out those seats anyway. Let them stay at home.

You may not know what makes me tick but you sure know why I'm ticked.

Oh, and have a nice day.

Which begat the following series of Buckeye Monologues . . .

* you will never hear from me again doc, sorry I imposed on you. I should have known, the only team that gets bad calls is psu, as always every time you lose it's someone else's fault. I could mention a few bad calls osu got vs psu but whats the point. for an educated man you have a mouth like a toilet. I sent you a civilized email & what do I get, more of what you are all about. bitchen, pissin & moaning, the worlds against psu. "WHy' do you suppose that is? couldbe because JP & the rest you are considered nothing but a bunch of whining cry babys. whats with this nebraska stuff, only proves b4 joining big ten ya'll were a bunch of bitchin cry babies back then too. FACT--you toddy baby got a hard-on for the world. I think you were abused as a child & judgeing from your photo, bad-mitten was prob your most physical sport. like trying to re-live your youth in sports thru someone else as you for sure don't look the physical sort & a true jockstrapper would never talk about 'kids' the band like you do. any place I've ever been the band marching to stadium in tune all part of the plan to create an atmosphere. maybe I'm missing something.
you're a real piece of work my man. one more thing why does psu have to go out of state to get bout 75% of their players? majority of your blue chippers go to mich, osu, mich state anywhere long as they leave the state. why is that? osu is living proof, check our roster last couple yrs.
in closing, as a well known writer for patriot news told me, how the hell you got your blog is a mystery to everybody. AND above all else, if you are so un-happy why don"t you drop out of the big ten. thing is no one 'really' wanted you in the first place. then you can go back to pre big ten schedule, playing the temples, navy. and other east coast cup-cakes. which is how paterno got most of his celebrated wins anyway, playing pussy cats. whats your won-lost record last 8-10 yrs overall? dam sure not what you expected it to be & thats whats got you pissed. there's a lot of buzz among many of the rest of big ten teams-fans wishing you 'would' drop out & be replaced by Rutgers, who you used to beat up all the time but gotta be a reason you don't or won't play them. if not for a silly freshman mistake[pryor] you would not have won in the shoe last oct and you dam sure found out how good you were in rosebowl. but hell you could'nt get a break, decent call, or nothing, even s.cal's against you. knowing first hand, most of you faithful are shit for brains uneducated hillbillies anyway, pissin on the band,, in your face threats against the older visitors, you're all class toddy. do the rest of the big ten a big favor & drop out. Rutgers is the team of choice and they'd spank your ass if you played em now.
you need help todd, an attitude adjustment. anyone who refers to young college kids like you do has got a world class problem. I'm done please no reply, my olive branch got shoved up my ass. sure would like to run in to you some day!
p.s. do something about those tasteless, bland, shitty looking uniforms, PINK would be a good color.

* hey doc,
whats goin on my man, you heard from patriot news big guys lately? anyway you should have heard colin cowherd 'the herd' on espn u today ripping the psu schedule again this yr & for yrs to come.it is totally shameful that psu would schedule so many punk teams yr in yr out-automatic wins-. OSU only top tier team, including rest of big ten schedule. questionable how good the Buckeyes are, complete rebuilding project. Cowherd states even if you run the table this yr, not worthy of a bcs game let alone title game. its history repeating itself, paterno got majority of wins pre big ten entry against east coast cupcakes w/occasional good team thrown in. if not for one dumb play by a freshman q-back last yr you'd have lost to OSU. & not even played in a bcs game. along with the terrible treatment of visiting fans[well documented by write-ins] the extreme difficulty getting to beaver stad., parking in cow pastures, everything related to psu is 'SO' bush league. as cowherd says, you won't schedule any away games cept 'got to' big ten teams you schedule about 8 pussy's at home ev yr guaranteed wins to fill the stadium & make alot of money. even a total jerk like you sponsler has to know where I'm coming from but would never admit it. then guys like you have the audacity constantly bad mouth everybody else, specially the buckeyes, "THEM"-- you have some great games coming up in the fall toddy & more of same in future. when does Bucknell, Susquehanna, etc. make it to your schedule. per tv talking heads, psu finally getting exposed[long overdue]. would make a lot of people happy if psu would get out of the big ten, they are as phony as a 3 dollar bill.
your pal richie
troy,ohio

* hey doc,
you don't write, you don't call, where's the love toddy? I need you to weigh in on the nits ball-buster of a schedule. every team schedules a couple non-conf patsies but c'mon, whats next bucknell,slippery rock, we[buckeyes] schedule likewise but navy a worthy team, toledo 'BEAT' you guys couple yrs ago & so on. assume the nits run the table, if you beat the buckeyes consider we are in a rebuilding yr more than psu, so no big deal rite 'toddy'. are you going to tell me beating the cup cakes on your schedule[rest of big ten not that great] qualifies the nits to be in a bcs, much less title game. face it toddy this is how paterno got most all his record wins pre-big ten. smoke & mirrors.still would like to meet you for a brewskie, how bout a little wager on the game, you have a more experienced team, a better, all-big ten q-back[from the buckeye naturally, couple other buckeyes that puts you a cut above. got it all going for you.
have a nice day dr. toddy! your buckeye buddy, RICHIE.

* bowman, wallace, korona, mcdonald, latest in the yr in yr out long list of scuzzo's frome penn state. on top of well documented fact beaver stadium rudest, crudest, most bush league place to visit, my congrats for now being named # 1 party school in country. the accolades keep piling up. 'WE ARE PENN STATE', for sure you are in a class all by yourself. like a bunch of overweight, cut off jeans[for shorts] hillbillies gathered around a moonshine still!!!!! all class toddy, all class!

* I just became aware of you losing your blog[whatever] Doc. Was not my intent to get you bar-b-qued but an educated man, a doctor no less should know better than to respond to "ANYBODY' the way you did to me. The cussing, swearing, expletives you directed to me is un-excusable. You are a professional but your garbage mouth does not reflect that fact. As I said Doc. its ok to be a faithful fan but to take it to the extremes as you do----Not Good! There's no bigger rivalry than OSU & 'THEM' as you refer to Michigan but after the game whatever the outcome you deal with it have a beer & look to next year. Lighten up Doc, its just a game played by young kids, nothing beats college football & Penn State & Ohio State two of the premier teams of all time. Sadly you make it out to be really ugly & hateful. If it would do any good I would appeal to those in charge at Pennlive give you your blog[whatever] back to you. Again I'm sorry for what happened, but you should know better than to talk like that to people.
Rich Foust

* Can't believe you have not responded to me doc one way or the other. course as you found out your method of communicating does not produce good results. if you have not been checking into pennlive stuff & ben goldfarbs article on your departure you should. I explained how all came about leading to your separation from the paper as he did not know any of the particulars. My letter to you & your dispicable response which I forwarded to the editor of the Patriot News, which I suggested he attempt to get copies of to verify my side of the story. He's a cool, straight-up guy doc, enjoy comm with him.
As I look at your photo which you display I'm not surprised by what I see. All I'll say is during my 20 yr career in the Marine Corps of which 2 yrs were spent as a drill instructor at Parris Island, S.C. you remind me of some of the recruits I recieved from time to time, THEY ALL WASHED OUT1 couldn't hack it

*Hey Doc,
Don't mean to be a pain in the butt, but c'mon I thought you were a stand-up guy. Many of your former readers are totally in the dark reg your disappearance per their write-ins. Sound off Doc, give'em the scoop. Better yet print a duplicate of the class-less letter you emailed to yours truly. Show everybody what a class act you are. Since its a given that PSU has the most classless, bush league, arrogant fans on the planet I can see where you had such a big following. So give your Pennsyltucky fans a break & clue'em in.
Bet your'e all fired up looking forward to the meat grinder of a schedule you have coming up. The big bad Nits will let'm know where the bear crapped in the buckwheat.
'WE ARE PENN STATE'--When;s Bucknell, Susquehanna get on the scheduleToddski?
Brutus Buckeye

* Hey Toddy,
I think it is positively deplorable that th 'NITS' are not ranked #1 in the country after steam rolling over all 3 of the teams they've played so far. You talk about a meatgrinder of a schedule the whole season. Mighty Penn State anybody, anytime, anywhere, we love a challenge. 'THEM'[ahem] & the Buckeyes are considering just mailing in a score, What's the point in coming in & getting totally embaressed. 'We Are Penn State', You been enjoying watchimg the nits beat up on all these putrid teams Doc?
Brutus

* 'WE ARE PENN STATE' the mt. nittney PUTTY CATS, hey Doctaire all you need is a few more temples, akron's, etc. but ya got e. illionois comin up. who's fault ya lost tonite? for sure was not PSU's. I was 'SO' looking forward to seeing the putty cats in the nat'l title game. There's always the toilet bowl Toddy baby. g'nite sweetcheeks!
Brutus

* Never, Never Never did I ever think I would turn off a PSU game [today marks 4th time] & watch an old movie. This team is just as 'PHONY' as you Doc., pretenders thats all you are in there. Of course this is how Mr. Pathetic AKA Joe Paterno got majority of his record number of wins, playing a bunch of sorry chumps for the last 50 yrs with an occasional good team thrown in. He scheduled these teams for '09' , fill the stadium, guarantee a win, you village idiots pay outrageous amounts of money to watch the nasty nits play these kinds of teams. One or two, O.K> but 4. Totally shameful to call yourselves a power & play all these pussy-cats ev yr.. You may as well start scheduling Bucknell, Bloomsburg, Villinova, and keep the big money to these teams in-state. Illinois sucks, & you play one good team [IOWA] & get you lunch handed to you. I watched part of the game today & there's the whiteout faithful going crazy, over who--E Illinois. Does'nt take much to please you hillbilly's does it?
Brutus Buckeye

* Gotta get one more dig at you Doc[joke] I.m back in Palm Springs, Ca. now for the winter & sitting here watching PSU-'THEM' another assinine description you bestowed on Michigan just because ya can;t beat;em. Must tell you how proud I am of myself for being responsible for you losing your 'thing' with Patriot News. 'YOU' with your garbage mouth spewing your filthy hate laced tirades at Them, OSU, & others. Always making with the phoney excuses when ya get beat, etc. etc. You've taken the best,most entertaining sport & turned it into nothing but a hateful fall event. Problem is, all you hicks thought you were going to come into the big ten & kick everybody's ass yr in yr out like tyou did for some 50 yrs against all those east coast chumps where Paterno got majority of his wins. I'd like to know how you explained your divorcel from penn/live to your family, friends patients, etc Were you truthful & said what a total world class jerk you really are? Or put all the blame on 'yours truley'.
FYI, I email back & forth with some of the Pat News. writers & those guys could never understand how a village idiot like you got your piece in the paper
In closing let me wish you nothing but the worst, any way you slice it. You don;t even have the garbonzo's to reply to me you hillbillty.
You pal Brutus Buckeye.

*Awwwww!Awwwwwwww! Hey Toddy you just could'nt get a break, many bad calls against you, even your touchdown, Toddy I've seen cheap TD's but that one beats all, no way was that a td which means you really got shut out. Toddy you're just going to have to schedule more Temple's, E. Illinois, & a few more chumps to pad Joe's win record. Only thing you hillbilly's excell at are spittin on people, throwing urine & other human waste on your visitors. All class baby. Please do the big ten a favor & drop out. bunch of drunken hillbillys do not belong.
your best bud Brutus

*Hey Toddy,
This is your day coming up thurs, so enjoy, Knowing what a world class whiner 'you' & the rest of the billhillys in there are I can just imagine had you beat Iowa & they still sent Iowa to a bcs bowl, but when the other guy gets shafted & 'you' still get picked, everything is still good, right hot toddy? Ex-blogger, writer etc. I'll still meet you for a cup of coffee when I drive in to Lewisburg next spring if you like, you know, if there's something you want to get off your chest! You play 2 decent[only decent] not great teams this yr & lose to both. What else is new? Bye Toddy, enjoy the day named after "YOU'
Brutus

*Hey PU doc, cannot let this slide. I'm glad the nits won for their sake & the big ten but reg that insane ridiculous pers foul call against LSU that prob cemented the win for psu if a call like that were called against psu you & all your hillbilly faithul & most of all paterno would have gone ballistic. paternos would still be chasing the refs all around the stadium crying his eyes out, but when questioned, joe just chuckles & says 'ahem' I did'nrt see the play & its all a bunch of hooey. Nothing has changed since 'YOU' got whacked toddy baby you all are still the punk, cry baby bush league fans you've been since day 'ONE'
Jimminy crickets toddy I've missed your garbage mouth mickey mouse remarks this past season. Not much to look forward to next couple seasons toddy, Boo-Hoo!
LOL Brutus

Yeah, LOL!