To those who voted for me, I thank you. Please resume your medication.
I had rather looked forward to someday being a trustee. My platform of stressing football while de-emphasizing Rodney Erickson was unparalleled. I had big dreams. Someday, I would have been Emperor of the Board. Nay, Emperor of the Big Ten! The NCAA! The whole wide, wide world of sports! Total domination.
But now my dreams are crushed. My life sucks.
Then again, who would want to be Emperor?
I'm going to go play Angry Birds now.